mysterious trip update.
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes.
But it's home and I walk alone......

Okay.
I didn't go.

That's right. I didn't go. Saying more about the who and where is rather unnessecary. You understand.

I have realized in the past two weeks a number of curious and strange and scary things about myself. So I stayed home. Because I should. Because it's the right thing to do for me.

Me.

I haven't been very good friends with me in a long time. I see all these areas of my life that need to be "fixed". So, rather than address the issues... I find myself frequently burying them under something that feels good on the outside, but is something that isn't good for the inside.

Am I being mysterious enough for you?

Good advice:

"...you can only make yourself happy. the more often you remember that the happier you will be. you are only responsible for your own happiness. everyone else is responsible for themselves...."

More Good Advice:

Nothing hurts as much, nothing feels as good. How many hours of your life have you spent in pursuit of love?

Than I ask you to define love. Not for me, but for yourself.
What does it look like? What does it feel like? How does it sound?

When you search for love... what is it you search for?
(thanks Valerie)

Combined with fresh moutain air, and a walk or two around the lake with my favorite small friends, this, for the first time in my life, made sense. All of it.

And that' s all I have to say about it.

Rach