Mysterious Trip cancelled.
Many things realized.
Moving on.

I am a Sometimes Country Music Girl. This was on my radio today. Fate, I ask you?

I've dealt with my ghosts
And faced all my demons
Finally content with the past I regret
I found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with my self
I've been burdened with blame
Trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin on

I've lived in this place
And I know all the faces
Each one is different
But they're always the same
They mean me no harm
But it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed Home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin on

I'm moving on
At last I can see
Life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarentees
But I'm not alone
There comes at time
In everyones life
When all you can see
Are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind
That those days are gone

I've sold what I could
Packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should
But lived like I shouldn't
I had to loose everything to find out.
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm Moving on

The picture above is my favorite from our wedding this weekend.

This is the father of the bride. His wife, the mother of the bride, passed away suddenly almost a year ago. He stepped away quietly while we were taking some group shots... I thought maybe for a sip of water or to take off his jacket. When he bowed his head... I realized he was saying a little prayer. Maybe he was telling her how beautiful their daughter was... how much he missed her... or how he wished she could be there.... whatever the message, her response must've been comforting, because he wiped away a tear, looked up at heaven, and smiled.

My favorite picture from my wedding this weekend.

funny.
(stop me if you've heard this one....)

so.

my dad. sometimes he's the best. sometimes he's cool. most often, he's everything.
last night, my ever-so-technologically-challenged parents discovered the world of "ringtones." this is trouble. like, of major proportions.
why?
because my mom and dad argue while at the computer. my mom, who doesn't understand why the internet is not her personal magic wand, gets frustrated with my dad, who doesn't understand that just because he couldn't find it, it might possibly exist elsewhere. they can spend hours scanning, editing, searching, typing, and joining. hours. ringtones = hell.

hence the argument that arose when my dad couldn't find the Usher ringtone my mom wanted. (yes, Usher. she's down.)

ok. so, then my dad downloads a ringtone for his phone. he now thinks this concept is a novel one. what ringtone did my dad get? my dad, who's worked for Ma Bell for thirty+ years? you guessed it. the original, old school telephone ring. isn't he just hysterically clever?

so, then he decides my sister and I also need a ringtone. lucky girls. we don't ask for much, considering we're two grown women who pay our own bills and our dad still pays for our cellphones. so, off he goes. becca was smart. sort of. she went with him to choose the ringtone. half an hour later, she comes downstairs with "step by step" jamming from her nokia - her tribute to the nineties and new kids on the block.

and me? my dad comes in grinning like a chesire cat. my phone rings. "long tall sally," it plays.

funny.

cause I've never heard that one before, dad.

like, ever.


Rach

Ten on Tuesday.
because I haven't blogged all weekend so now I must go overboard

Ten Favorite Things to Snack On
(in no particular order, mind you)

1. baby carrots
2. cheese cubes
3. granola bars
4. Raisinettes
5. red grapes (cold, out of the fridge)
6. Wheat Thins
7. PopTarts (the girls favorite; not just a breakfast food anymore)
8. NutriGrain bars, blueberry (always one in the purse)
9. air popped popcorn (the Archer Farms brand, you can buy on the snack food aisle at Target, thanks Katey!)
10. "white" Trail Mix (also bought at Target... yummy!)

Princesses Return.
They spent the long holiday weekend with dad.... you can read more about their adventures here. If you want the short version, there were many cartoonish wild animals, Jim's realization that he is not "a winner," and lots of table hockey. They came home happy and exhausted. And dirty. So dirty, in fact, that Jim pre-empted their arrival home with a phone call to warn me of their dirtiness. He's never done this, so I knew it had to be bad. Two days, people. Two days since the little darlings had graced the interior of a bathtub or shower. In the past, I think I would have been pissed. Completely. The Princesses dirty? Never! However, I found myself strangely calm and just glad to know they'd had fun. I'm not sure I'm ok with that reaction, however, *Nice Rachael* told me to just shutup and go with it. *Nice Rachael* is often nice and charming, which confuses people. Especially me.

So, when they arrived home, I decrusted them in the shower, cleaned out their fingernails and toenails, made them brush their teeth forever, and them tucked them into bed. They were snoring in five minutes.

Hasn't anyone told them snoring isn't ladylike?

House of Wax.
a cultural obligation

More like, please, please don't waste your money... less House of Wax, and more "watch me chase Chad Michael Murray and Elisha Cuthbert through this old town with my knife...."

One redeeming quality ... Paris Hilton, she gets killed. However, only after about THREE million references to the "sex tape" scandal. She died about 1.5 million references too late.

I was more impressed with the previews, and must shamefully admit that because of my unrelenting crush on Johnny Knoxville, I'll have to see Dukes of Hazzard.

I am slightly depressed. Instead of weekend away, I spent Friday on a "date" with my surfing sister, Becca. Love Becca. Need a life.

Ciao.
Rach

Men.
It starts early, girls.

There have only been a few moments in life where I have cussed for not having my camera. This morning was one of those moments.

JLo and I arrived late to preschool. Today is the last day, and since "graduation" has already taken place, the past few days have been play days... today being "Field Day." You know, lots of games and waterguns and dirt.

About three months ago, construction began on the new SuperWalMart across the small, one way street from Jordin's school. This involves many bulldozers, backhoes, tractors, dynamite, and red dirt (our dirt in Georgia is red, for all you non Georgia types). The company doing all the grading, blasting and digging has been wonderful... met with the parents of the daycare to let them know that they were taking all safety precautions, blah blah blah.

There are more boys in Jordin's preK class than girls. I think something like twelve boys and only six girls. You can imagine the social drama this creates. Each girl must have at least two boyfriends (hey, this is hard to do...). Sometimes, these combinations are switched, shared, combined, etc. . The girls, being the dominant personalities in the class, have taught the boys to play house, dress up and Barbies. I know their parents are proud.

I guess, no matter what the age - men will be men. Because, this morning, as I drove away, noticing the tractors, bulldozers, and the like near the edge of the road ... I looked back at the playground and noticed the boys... all twelve of them, lined up on the fence... hands grasping through the chain link, mouths agape - watching in silent amazement as the tractors, bulldozers and backhoes went about their work. I swear, not one of them was saying a word. Apparently - the girls, who now have no one to boss, dress up or chase - were pissed. They were all about twenty feet behind the boys, in a little cluster, hands on hips, pouty lips stuck out, and wondering what all the trouble was with the tractors. Those boys are going to have a bad, bad day.

What a perfect picture.

Dammit.


Rachael

TGIF
You can tell immediately if someone grew up in the eighties and nineties.... do they know what TGIF means?

Lots to do today. Just in case you're interested.

1. Get JLo to school. We slept in this morning.
2. Take SB to orthapedic appointment regarding the arm that is not broken, yet looks broken.
3. Work. (the subtext that could be inserted here would simply take all day to even type, much less read...)
4. Bank. (yay, money to deposit... maybe I could just donate a couple of pints of blood to daycare for the summer)
5. Pack girls for Dad's house. Think they're going to White Water.
6. Hang out with little sister, visiting from college. (sorry Becca, no where to surf at home.... we're shark free these days)
7. Develop film from wedding (last weekend) and girl scout ceremony last night (maybe I will do something like put the photos in her scrapbook or something miraculous.)
8. Buy film for wedding job tomorrow (beg dad to let me use the new, fancy, digital camera type toy).

Have a great Friday. ;-)

Rachael

...a thousand miles from nowhere...
time don't matter to me.... got no place I gotta be....

First, it was that spoiled rotten brat... The Runaway Bride.

Now, it appears Atlanta has a brand new idiot on the news.

Meet Buckhead's new Best Friend. Carl Edward Roland.

If you haven't read about this story, or live somewhere in the world besides Atlanta, or the surrounding area, please catch up on the past 48 hours of city life here.

For the past 48 hours, the City of Atlanta has had a major portion of the Buckhead community closed down, as they try to talk this murderous loser off his perch.

Let's face it people, he ain't jumpin'. He just isn't.

In light of this realization, I have a few suggestions for possibly getting him down faster.

1. Hire a sniper. That would be fun.
2. Maybe instead of the SWAT Team, they could send out the PUSH (as in, "push his ass right on off the crane") Team.
3. Let the crowds through the barracades so that he can actually HEAR them chanting, "jump, jump, jump" at his pathetic tortued soul.
4. Paint a bullseye right in front of Nava (fancy ass restaurant here in Atl) and take bets on where what parts will go when he finally bails.
5. Let his sister, who, consequently is standing on the ground some THOUSANDS of feet below him, up the stairs to actually talk to him. Maybe then she'll put down the mirror she's using to try and get his attention. If I were him, and she came up there... I'd leave. Speedy Quick.

Anyway - those are just a few of my suggestions of how we can get Buckhead back to business. Soon.

Rach

mysterious trip update.
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes.
But it's home and I walk alone......

Okay.
I didn't go.

That's right. I didn't go. Saying more about the who and where is rather unnessecary. You understand.

I have realized in the past two weeks a number of curious and strange and scary things about myself. So I stayed home. Because I should. Because it's the right thing to do for me.

Me.

I haven't been very good friends with me in a long time. I see all these areas of my life that need to be "fixed". So, rather than address the issues... I find myself frequently burying them under something that feels good on the outside, but is something that isn't good for the inside.

Am I being mysterious enough for you?

Good advice:

"...you can only make yourself happy. the more often you remember that the happier you will be. you are only responsible for your own happiness. everyone else is responsible for themselves...."

More Good Advice:

Nothing hurts as much, nothing feels as good. How many hours of your life have you spent in pursuit of love?

Than I ask you to define love. Not for me, but for yourself.
What does it look like? What does it feel like? How does it sound?

When you search for love... what is it you search for?
(thanks Valerie)

Combined with fresh moutain air, and a walk or two around the lake with my favorite small friends, this, for the first time in my life, made sense. All of it.

And that' s all I have to say about it.

Rach

stories from the yearbook.
an otherwise poorly planned diversion from other topics I should be discussing

So. SB has now completed reading the cast of her entire McGarity experience to me. Straight from the pages of the cherished yearbook ... from kindergarten to fifth grade... she read them all to her mom. Did I mention that I was on the edge of my seat the entire time?

I flipped through the pages when she was done... as if I hadn't had enough already.... and read what all her friends had wrote .... apparently, the rules have not changed... the more signatures you have, the more popular you must be... and, every girl must catch the signature of that ohsocute phys ed teacher or cute boy who they have never spoken to before in their life. The signatures are like autographs... perhaps some sort of unknown future in Hollywood... practice for crowds of screaming fans.

I wondered where SB would be eight or so years from now, when she's sixteen, and coveting her junior yearbook as much as her second grade one she got two days ago. Will Conner still be the cutest boy on the planet? Will he still be short? Will Carrie Ann and Addie still be SB's best friends? Will Jonathan stop being such a complete pain in the ass and turn into some handsome, raven haired football captain? Will SB be a cheerleader or in the band? Will little Miss Creative follow in her mommy's footsteps, and spend her afternoons held up in the yearbook room, with her Creative Buddies, creating the next edition of her high school life? Maybe by then it will all be digital.

I spent my junior and senior year on "The Staff," of our high school yearbook. What drama. What intrigue. What a complete waste of a class period. We met our deadlines early in the year, and spent the rest of the time flirting with our very young,ever so handsome and mutually flirtatious "advisor," watching cartoons, and eating. Whenever someone walked by, we quickly busied ourselves with pencils behind our ears, wiping the "sweat" off our brows. We took many, many field trips, "research," you know. I was co-editor of the senior section.... which meant typing in all 95 senior "wills," and making sure that everyone had their picture in on time. And, when seventh period was over, I waited on *the boy* to walk up the hallway to meet me... . If you needed to cry or talk or gossip or bitch, you did so on the old sofa in the back room. If that sofa could talk, it could certainly tell some juicy stories. The best gossip in the school originated and happened right there. There was also a mini fridge there, where, in the days before school vending machines, we stored our sodas. And a telephone. In the days when cellphones were not, this is where you called your college boyfriend ... just to put on the appropriate show in front of you other female staffers. People who were not "on staff" desired to be. They wanted to know what was in the mysterious "back room," and why they couldn't come in. We were an exclusive club, and membership certainly had it's seventeen year old benefits. Seven girls. Seven girls from every social class in the school... amd there were three boys, who considered themselves the luckiest three boys in the school. They knew all the gossip... all the stories, usually had one of the seven in their lap... and even created some of their own drama in the room that should have been the darkroom.

I realized tonight when I was going back through my own yearbooks - that it wasn't so much the pages inside that mattered... it was knowing that I was a part of something that fun... a part of an exclusive, elusive group of friends that created something hundreds of my classmates still have. The book is sort of a symbol of those days... the fruit of our completely slacker state of being during seventh period "labor".

And my favorite signing? This is definitely it:

Rachael:
Ok. Here I am again! Can you believe it? We've been friends for eight years! We're finally upperclassmen this year! ALMOST SENIORS! I am so glad to have you as my best friend. Even though we have our differences, we always work through them... it has been a great eight years. Thanks for always being there for me. I will always be here for you. I think everyone knows we're not lesbians now, even though we've been hugging since the first day of school here. Thank you for keeping Jon interested that last year. I love you very much! I'll be praying for you! Love, Tinian Kai.

It might sound silly. Ok. It does sound silly.

But, Tinian and I... best friends since the second grade. She was the girl with the huge mouth and long braids, whose name no one could pronounce. We were like PB&J from that moment on. I introduced her to her husband (Jon). Who begged me for a year straight to get her to out with him. Just once. Three kids, two houses, and one recording contract later... I'd say they're happily married.

And that's what it's all about. Looking back... wondering where everyone is nowadays. What everyone is doing... how they are doing.... I even have my famous person (soon to be) autograph....

.... Rachael,
I have enjoyed our years together tremendously. You are such a blast to be around. I hope you don't forget about me when you're a supermodel. Please keep an eye on Tinian. I worry about her. Love, Jason.

So now - Jason has his own CD. And rock star hair. And at least a hundred screaming girls who want to have his babies... even though he already has a wife and baby. Who is the supermodel now? I'll save this one and cash it in on Ebay when he makes it really big.

And Malia ... she has her own celebrity signing too. Just ask her about Bo Bice.

Wonder who SB will stick with? Who will be her PB? Will she sign her yearbook? Who knows... by then, it will all be digital anyway. This post kinda sucked. You'll have to forgive me and pretend it's future pulitzer material. At least just this once.

Rach

Random Tuesday
Ok. I have since taken a deep breath and recovered from my daycare debacle of yesterday.

Do you ever just have those times in life where you feel like your suffocating? There is too much to do, not enough time to do it, not enough hours in the day, money in the bank, days in your life.... you know how it is.... well, maybe anyway.

Jordin graduated from PreK today... short and sweet, just how all we mommies like it. She won the award for "Most Creative," an award SB also received on Monday from the second grade. Wow. Two kids winning "Most Creative." Maybe I am somewhere in their blood after all.

Still working out Disney details. Planning a trip there is overwhelming. But, I can't wait to take the girls.... and glad to be able to have Jim along.

I am leaving town for a trip I'm not sure I want to take anymore on Thursday. I thought I had figured things out ... sure about the direction I was going... and then I had this long sort of personal weekend... and now I am not so sure about anything anymore.

Today was yearbook day at school... SB can't wait to read every single name in the book to me. She says we can start it early, so we'll be sure to fit everyone in. Can't wait for that.

Hope your Tuesday is .... well... something good.

Rach

Dammit. I hate money.

Daycare is going to cost $500.00 a month this summer. And that's not for SB. That's for JLo. I am trying to save for the Disney Trip... for the new house... and still have some sanity when it's all over. $500.00 a month. Yuck. I just hope their flip flops and shoes will fit at least for the summer.

Maybe school starts back early this year.

$500.00.

(sigh)
Rachael

Grilled Corn on the Cob. 

Yeah. But no pressure. You should have seen the kid we saw who decided not to let go of the rope. It was funny. Very.  

View of the lake.  

The Cousins. Meet Jasmine, our five year odl third cousin. She's bossy. She's pushy. She's in your face. She's rude. And my girls love her. :-)  

Weekend. Didn't suck.

Suprisingly, our weekend didn't suck.

Now that I have finished crying like a baby over Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and have given up on trying to cash in on this whole Desperate Housewives mania for this season .... I am ready to tell you all about it. I know, I know. You're still waiting on me to write about New York. I'm trying. Take what you can get, people.

For those of you who don't know (shame for not keeping up with my everyday happenings) our entire family made plans to head north for the weekend.... one that would involve the wedding of My Favorite Cousin, Josh... . I wasn't nessecarily "anticipating" this weekend - as anything that involves me, the girls, bugs, and complaining usually doesn't go down easily. However, the plans were made - and my sulking didn't seem to phase anyone.

(HELLO... CAN YOU NOT SEE MY PRINCESS CROWN? Maybe I should think about having this thing cleaned or something)

Anyway - so - Saturday morning we arrived early in semi-North Georgia... unpack everyone and all our cameras for the wedding. Jordin and I went for a walk through the adorable town... and I briefly considered throwing every bit of common sense in my head in the toilet and moving there. Yeah. Back to reality.

I helped The Bride get dressed... sweet girl, very sheltered... and convinced her to *shock and awe* take OFF her nylons since she was way, way too hot. What?!?! A wedding without nylons? Yes, honey. They'll be on the floor sooner or later. (insert more shock and awe here) I mean, really.

The girls were fabulous during the wedding, I took lots of great pictures. Lots.

We made the 1.5 hour drive from wedding to lodge .... girls were with my cousin Jennifer (insert evil laughter here) since she had a DVD player in her van. Mom and I chatted the whole way about nothing but girly, inappropriate stuff. Not really. I don't talk to my mom about that stuff unless my little sister is around. But it was nice.

Arrived at our weekend retreat... fell in love. The place was amazing. Took more pictures.

Dad cooked. Mom bossed around and reorganized. Girls bonded with the cousins they'd never met.

I walked and talked and ate and napped. And took the girls on a nature hike. And out in the paddle boats (never, ever again will I do JLo in the paddle boat... ever.) . Jordin and I shared a miserable sofa bed experience. She ate a real booger when I challenged her. Sarah Beth ran and yelled and bossed, which are three of her favorite activities. They refused to go and snuggle with Mimi this morning... they said my bed was more comfortable. Which was obviously a complete lie... but hey, I'll take it. Pa took SB paddle boating and out in the canoe.... a job which I simply refused to do... as the last time SB and I paddle boated, I ended up waist deep in lake water after paddling the boat in by myself... as her majesty was tired. They came home poison oak free... so far, anyway. They ate alot, and played in the sunshine.

I sort of left town with a heavy heart... you know, just the stuff that gets clogged up sometimes. There was much time to reflect... to renew... and the ability to leave refreshed.

It's amazing what a little walk around the lake holding hands with your favorite people can do.

Another haunting set of old windows on a house in this little town. Lots of renovation being done around this street... isn't it especially scary with the overcast sky? 

Downtown Adairsville, Georgia... while out "exploring" with the ever-so-bored Jordin. The whole downtown area looks like this. My friend Mark would be a little jealous. :-)  

Oh my goodness.

The Former Spouse posted a video of our adorable child at her dance competition. You can see it by clicking HERE. Jordin is the second from the left. Lots of cuteness and fake hair. Not to mention big sis SB reviewing the whole thing in the background. Just a warning.

Rach

Southern Girls Guide to New York
( or, how to be relatively cool and not obnoxiously southern while visiting the Big Apple)

Things I learned.

1. When you get in a taxi, know where it is you want to go. There shall be no waffling. Other people who actually LIVE here are waiting.
2. When you hail a cab, be sure to be politcally correct. Do not jump into another person's hailed cab. This is very, very rude and not well received.
3. The REAL New Yorkers will take your cab. Let them.
4. For God sakes, BUCKLE UP in the cab. You WILL see your entire life flash before your eyes NUMEROUS times. The seat belt prolongs your biography.
5. Cabs smell funny. Real funny.
6. The cab drivers are almost always wearing funny shoes with bells. Check them OUT, people.
7. Traffic is a thing. Get over it.
8. Look out your window when heading to the city. It's people watching heaven.
9. Stay in Midtown. There are few tourists here. You don't want to be a "tourist."
10. If you WANT to be a tourist, stay on Broadway. Please buy a "Wicked" show poster for me, since I forgot it.
11. The REAL New Yorkers are the ones who just shove past you and keep going. Don't be offended. Move.
12. Broadway is cool.
13. Very cool.
14. Even more so at night.
15. You are crazy if you don't go out at night.
16. Don't even think about bed before midnight. Things are just getting started then.
17. Don't say "Ya'll," to anyone. Unless you want them to make fun of you. In that case, go ahead.
18. Don't try to order Sweet Tea. Don't.
19. Leave your Vera Bradley bag and Lili Pulitzer capris at home, girls. I mean it.
20. Ride the subway.
21. It smells funny too.
22. It's also cheaper than taxi's everywhere.
23. Take a carriage ride through Central Park.
24. With someone you love, adore, etc.
25. There are plenty of things to do BESIDES the 9-11 Memorial and the Statue of Liberty.
26. When you pass the Statue, it's okay to be breathless.
27. She's a cool lady.
28. Who could use a bra.
29. French women probably don't need bras.
30. Have some pizza.
31. The real kind you buy on the corner of 57th, from the "Open Late" pizza place.
32. You fold your pizza in half to eat it.
33. Visit the Magnolia Bakery in the village.
34. Buy a cupcake.
35. Sit in the park across the street and feel like a real New Yorker. One who lives in the village.
36. Go to "Lips," a small infamous bar with drag queens as your hosts. FUN stuff. They sing. And dance.
37. Be sure to visit the little book store across the street from the bakery. You feel just like a Friends episode.
38. Have a REAL bagel. A real one.
39. You should buy this from a street vendor.
40. And be sure to get a Black and White cookie. (hello, heaven)
41. Always put the address of your hotel in your pocket. It's easy to get lost.
42. When visiting Canal Street - buy a fake bag. Get over yourself.
43. Comfy shoes. Comfy. It's true that NY's where sneakers everywhere - and only change to the cute stuff when they arrive.
44. Take your camera. Don't be a complete loser like me.
45. Remember, honey .... there are rednecks everywhere. They're universal, I think.

XOX-

Rachael

50/50
This weekend the girls and I .... oh hell, the whole family and the girls and I are off to the North Georgia mountains for a family wedding.... we're all staying together in a "lodge" someone rented. I have packed plenty of flip flops, bug spray and knitting... oh yes, and valium. My dad has been designated official chef of the weekend - which makes him incredibly happy... I on the other hand, have been designated as the Entertainment Chair of the weekend. This basically means I am taking Uno, Yatzee and Cranium Cadoo to occupy the chicklets. This is only a facade. I just don't want to go insane.

Could be fun. Could be hell. I'll let you know.

Rach

Cartwheelers Anonymous.
overheard last night before bedtime

(Who in the name of God taught my double jointed child how to cartwheel? WHO?)

Jordin: Mommy this hurts. A lot.
(points to left hip... )

Me: Sorry, Jordin... need some Motrin? (yes, anything so mommy can sleep too)

Jordin: Yeah. (whines)

Me: What do you think happened?

Jordin: I just turned too many cartwheels today. I did four in a row. Straight. And a bunch more.

Me: Jordin?

Jordin: Yeah?

Me: Why don't you stop doing so many cartwheels. You know, you can always use your feet and walk to get anywhere you want to go.. you don't have to cartwheel.

Jordin: I know. I just can't stop.

Speechless.
**Religious Disclaimer** If you don't want to hear it, don't read it. And certainly don't complain about it**

My former sister in law Valerie wrote this on her blog. I thought it was simply amazing, and says so much about her character. I hope you enjoy it as much.

I smile at people's thoughts on love. They vary as widely and wildly as spring seeds scattering in a gush of wind. Unpredictable, Confusing, Ingenious, Beautiful. Sometimes there is no logic, sometimes nothing but logic... all heart, no heart, hearts beaten and tattered, and some untouched. Good luck finding someone with no thoughts on it... it wont happen. We all search for love.

Nothing hurts as much, nothing feels as good. How many hours of your life have you spent in pursuit of love?

Our lives consist of this one search. Is anything more important to you than loving, and being loved?

If you answered, as I did, with a resounding NO! Nothing is of greater importance to me than love. Than I ask you to define love. Not for me, but for yourself. What does it look like? What does it feel like? How does it sound? When you search for love... what is it you search for?

Often times for me I search for simple things... laughter, someone who will inspire me to change the things about me that are not right, and who I inspire to be greater as well. I search for calm seas that give and take not easily angered. A gentle and kind heart that thinks of others first. A faithful servant who does not rely on the shifty pursuit of earthly gluttonous, but who looks to the Lord for guidance with a humble spirit.

Be with someone who inspires you... and who you inspire as well. Laughter, joy, friendship, love, the stuff of magic and daydreams. The fruit you can see from a life following after the heart of God, "Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control." Be you. Only change to become more like Christ himself. You can quote me on that.

I am working on my NY stories for you. :-) Don't worry. SB had a broken arm scare today - but we're all okay now... shout out to EHWD for coming to town all the way from Athens to pick up JLo from school.... . He's hella helpful anytime I need him . I am dying to tell all of you about NYC - just trying to find the perfect words, as always.

Ciao -
Rach

Dance Competition Update : Our girls take FIRST PLACE. Excuse me while the Stage Mommy in me gloats for a minute or two.  

Lucky Me. Every mommy's favorite thing to come home to.... bookbags and shoes. Notice the pink sparklers, which have sadly replaced the red sparklers.  

My Mothers Day Favorites... actually still alive!  

Home, ya'll.

My FULL New York report later.


Rach

I wanna be a part of it... New York, New York

Your regurlary scheduled blog will be pre-empted by this post for at least the next 72 hours. Enjoy.

Fairwell everyone!!! (blows kisses)

Rach

Life Changing Moments in the Yarn Store
(file under, Stuff about Rachael you probably could care less about)

I bought some cool yarn in Macon on Wednesday.

I have this new philosophy of finishing a project before I can buy supplies for one new project. Many of you who know me are astonished right now. I realized this philosophy was nessecary when I inventoried the mirage of scrapbook supplies that currently dominate one room of my mom's house. I have enough to open a small store, and I haven't spent $20 on supplies since moving back in here. I brought it allll with me. And yet, not too many scrapbooks to show for it. I have rubber stamps to stamp cards for the next century. So many that I often loan the entire collection to friends, and never miss them. Ever. So I made this new idea up about finishing things before I start new things. (this also came along with balancing my checkbook AND paying bills on time) It's true. And, amazingly, as many of you have been telling me for years, this Theory actually works.... shocking.

So, since I finished the Noro scarf, I bought supplies for a new scarf. The Yin and Yang scarf. I am a scarfaholic when it comes to knitting. Scarves are easy and don't require me cussing, throwing things, or stabbing furniture with my needles. You can see the attraction.

So I now think my yarn store trip was a message. I am not sure from who. Maybe God. Maybe the Yarn Goddess (I haven't actually met her, but I think there is one) You would never guess a trip to the yarn store in little Macon would yield such life changing results. But it did.

How you ask?

Well... part of my new theory of reward crafting is the philosophy of buying materials for an actual project. You know - buying the specific stuff needed to make a specific thing. So, in the shop was the Yin and Yang scarf - finished as a sample. The yarn is all ribbony and purple and blue. It looked easy enough. So, I bought the yarn, AND wrote down the pattern. Wrote it down, I tell you. I stashed the little piece of torn calendar paper with the pattern on it in my purse.

Feeling very satisfied and fulfilled (yes, The Theory also gives me this feeling) and oh so responsible with my stash of mad money (you know, spending it on something I will actually see results from) I left the store and happily drove back to Atlanta. I was so happy, I held the little sack of yarn in my lap the whole way home. And, since my Noro scarf traveled with me to Macon, it was a car ride of complete crafty-responsible-look-what-I-can-do bliss. ADD Rachael was probably pissed. (*Creative Me, Paper Girl, and ADD Rachael* are buddies. The get together and try to sabotage my otherwise mild mannered lifestyle. The Theory totally pisses them off.)

I haven't had a spare second to even look at my yarn since coming home. There has been a lot going on around here... work, school, laundry, dance, rescuing baby bluebirds from the grips of my daughters, to really think about knitting. And, when I am not doing all those things, I am doing stuff like going to bible study, helping get stuff done for church, going to the library.... you know, all the standard mommy things that laugh in the face of spare time. Weeks like this suck. Mommy is tired, the girls are tired, we're all cranky, we all cry about something.... I am exhasuted, and trying to make myself look forward to New York this weekend.

So, last night - around eleven or so - I decided to wind my new yarn into a ball. When I was finished, I dug around for the pattern I had written on the torn piece of calendar paper. I found it in the bottom of my purse (the cute basket purse Katey bought me). When I uncrumpled it, I realized I was reading the wrong side.... the calendar side. This is what it said:

Tuesday May 10th 2005

Rushing and then collapsing is not only exhausting to us. This behavior wears out everyone around us, too.

(For Women Who Do Too Much Calendar, Workman Publishing)

So. To whomever it might have been trying to tell me something, I got it. Thank you for the note. It was nice of you to send it in note form, rather than just slapping me. It was nice of you.

Knit ten rows, purl one row. Repeat.

Rach

Today I changed my name (finally) on my drivers license. SB, the perceptive child, couldn't wait to see the new piece of hologrammed plastic that contained a new picture of mommy. She of course had to mention that my name was different.

Jordin cried. A lot.

"Now me and daddy are the only Fletchers."

"You didn't want to be Fletcher anymore?"

"You didn't like Fletcher?"

I've been divorced since 2002. Not one moment has been harder with Jordin than this one. Not one.

• Getting ready to out of town is a pain in the ass. There is too much to be done and too many kids around here to manage.
• I actually paid money for fake hair today for my daughter... it's for her dance competition this weekend. $21 for a bunch of fake curls on a banana clip?
• I baked two lemon cakes tonight yay Barefoot Contessa). Two. This was a complete mess, as we only had ONE of the pan I needed, and TWO recipes of batter.
• It really doesn' t take 6-8 lemons to make a 1/3 cup of lemon zest. Really.
• SB is talking about Star Wars... a lot. God, please don't make my child one of those people.
• I have to buy new tennis shoes tomorrow. And pack. And clean. And pack for the girls. Oh yeah, and work too.
• I got a COOL car coffee cup and a $50.00 gift card to Starbucks for Mothers Day from a friend. I plan on utilizing both in the morning.
• SB "rescued" some baby bluebirds today. Only not in a good way. I am working on an entire post for that one.
• I bought THIS book to help plan OUR TRIP to Disney.
• You should have seen the wigs this white girl can' t wear in the shop where we "bought" our hair.
• I am very, very tired.
• Very.
• Goodnight.

Two kinds of Trash
Overheard today while doing yardwork

Girls come home from school. Elated to find mommy working in the yard of the new (old) house. Mommy is wearing white tank top, cut off blue jeans, flip flops, and a bandana around her way-too-long hair.

Sarah: Mommy!

Me: Wha? (I can no longer form complete words at this point... more on me and yardwork later)

Jordin: YOU look CUTE in that outfit.

Me: What?

Sarah: Yeah, mom. It's cute.

Me: Really? (wipe dirty sweat off my face) I kinda thought I looked like trash.

Sarah: Yeah, but the cute kind of trash. Like maybe the kind someone would take out of the trash and play with.

Me: There are two kinds of trash?

Sarah : Yeah. And you're the cute kind.

Jordin. Yeah. (turns cartwheel)

Mommyhood 101
some rules of the road all of us spoiled-rotten-princesses should know before getting Kid Cards

1. Once becoming a mommy, you suddenly begin to see the world in Germ Vision, which is sort of like taking a black light and shining it on everything... see the bacteria? Who knew a lick from the dog could be so dangerous? You will buy a five gallon pump dispenser of antibacterial lotion, and keep a mini supply in your purse.
2. Once becoming a mommy, you will start to notice all the things about your own mother that make you want to drag your fingernails down a chalkboard. This happens sometime around month four or so of pregnancy. Unsolicited advice, frequent trips to your place to "help you catch up," on the laundry, her own system of organization for baby... etc. . (see #3)
3. Once becoming a mommy, post birth, you will begin to notice that your mom was right about certain things you were sure she was wrong and annoying about. (see #4)
4. Once becoming a mommy, you realize that you are started to act "just like your mom." This can mean many things, from the way you wash said laundry to the way you change a diaper. This continues until death.
5. Once becoming a mommy, you learn to love stretch marks. Or pay to have them surgically removed.
6. Once becoming a mommy, the doctor will tell you it should be six weeks before you have sex again. You will laugh outloud when he says this. Six weeks passes way too fast. Husband says it passes way too slow.
7. Once becoming a mommy, you will finally look like a woman. For real.
8. Once becoming a mommy, you will look at others your age who are single and have no children and remember that you have done something they haven't.
9. Once becoming a mommy, you become familiar with the term, "multi-tasking," and can do this without second thought. It now becomes possible for you to cook dinner, check homework, tie shoes, and knit all at the same time.
10. Once becoming a mommy, you will meet lots of new mommy friends. From McDonalds. (see #11)
11. You will meet them there on a weekly basis. Who knew? McDonalds becomes your Starbucks. (hint: coffee is cheaper)
12. Once becoming a mommy, the small stuff becomes very important. Tying shoelaces, walking, sitting up. You live for these moments.
13. Once becoming a mommy, you realize you can hear your child breathing at night... even though he's upstairs... or three doors down the hallway. (see #14)
14. This breathing sound is soothing. It puts you to sleep. Yet you will wake up at least four times to check to make sure he's still breathing. (see #15)
15. And even though he's sleeping soundly, you will wake him just to snuggle up with him.
16. Once becoming a mommy, you will see your husband as a different man.
17. You will start to offer the same kind of unsolicited advice to other pregnant mommies that annoyed you before you had you baby.
18. You will stop watching "A Baby Story," on TLC. It's true.
19. You will start watching and strangely enjoying Barney, Spongebob and the Teletubbies.
20. You will buy kids CD's for your car... and find yourself singing along with them.
21. You will cry when you leave her in Kindergarten for the first time. She will not.
22. You wil cry when he or she gets their first sunburn. And feel like the worlds worst mother.
23. You will begin to memorize story books.. and search out new authors for bedtime reading.
24. You will impose your fashion habits on them without even thinking about it. Until the day you realize she has more GAP jeans than you do. And then more shoes.
25. The 3.49 Pizza Buffet will become fine family dining.
26. You will lose a few close friends, because you can't stay out until 3AM anymore.
27. You will plan your day based around carpool time.
28. Storytime at the library becomes the highlight of your day.

.... more to come... :-)

Happy Mothers Day!! .... new pictures on the right for everyone... :-)  

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Brief post.

Worked this morning for a few hours.

• Girls to lunch with Mimi, Great Aunt and Grand Mimi.
• Girls to get new shoes with Great Aunt. (she has a need to buy them things)
• Mimi gives tour of unfinished new (old) house to Great Aunt and Grand Mimi. Um. Note: Grand Mimi made it clear that she DOES NOT like brown paint in living room.

Wrapped Mothers Day gifts for tomorrow. Signed appropriate cards.

Going to paint rocking chair and trim at new (old) house.

Later, going out shopping with girls. Buying myself mothers day gift.

Tomorrow - lunch with Former MIL and family.

Book Blogging.
I've been asked to join in the fun of book blogging. Every month - a new topic. Every month - a new, well known author reads each entry. Winners chosen. Why must this be my month to start? Here are my topic choices... lying - fornicating - or "going home."

Hmmm.

"Going Home" sounds boring.

Rach

Mothers Day Cards. Made by Me.  

Do people know me this well?

So today one of my advertising girls called The Paper Shop. She's a cute girl and we've spent some time in The Shop chatting about all sorts of things. We've discussed advertising with her publication - and I was sure she was following up AGAIN with a pesky sales call.

Nope.

Appears she wanted to be sure to tell me which cupcake bakeries to visit while in NYC... she's a native. She knew my trip wouldn't be complete without hitting the famous cupcake hotspots.

Scary.

Magnolia Bakery (Sex and the City fame... natives line up outside the door before dawn for cupcakes)
Buttercup Bake Shop

So then I had to do a little research.

Where to find NYC cupcakes

NYC is a Cupcake Town

And that's all I'm sayin'. Forget the Statue of Liberty or Ellis Island. Forget everything. Give me cupcakes, or give me death.

Rach

Thursday.

Dinner tonight with Katey. The amazing Katey. Don't you just have a friend who you think is amazing? She took me to pizza (oy- RUN from the Cinco de Mayo Atlantans) and let me talk. And she listened. And then she dished some advice. The good kind of advice. The kind of advice only girlfriends can share. She tells me to shutup when I need too, that it's ok to cry, that I am beautiful, to be nice to Jim even when I don't want too, that she loves my girls, and that I should never, ever settle for second best. She tells me when someone is checking me out. She tells me to stand up straight and to smile. And sometimes, she tells me to buy the cute black shoes with the great bows that are only for going out. Even though they have three inch heels. It's okay, she says, because I should be proud of being tall. I love Katey. Really.

Got home to the sweet smelling freshly bathed girls. They smell so good when they're clean. And all their little hair is piled up on their heads in a million clips. Pretty, sweet girls. There is just nothing better than clean, sweet children. Except when they are mad because you tell them no more television. What? You mean we can't watch this episode of Spongebob for the 1,545,456,456,456 time? Again - I am so mean. But, can she have book fair money for tomorrow anyway?

Finished my home made Mothers Day cards today. Actually going to put them in the mail tomorrow.

Appointment to get hair cut tomorrow morning foiled again. I always build up the nerve to get it done - and then at least two people talk me off the ledge... without knowing I am planning on cutting it. I take those hints as a sign from the Hair Goddess. She's warning me that I will hate it and bitch and complain that it's too short. And nobody wants to hear me complain about hair for goodness sakes.

I need cute clothes to take to NYC next weekend. I also need comfy shoes. I also need a plane ticket to Texas later this month. Anyone have a thousand dollars? I'll send you my Paypal Account name. Seriously. I will.

EXWD invited me and the girls to Mothers Day lunch on Sunday at his mom's. Go say something nice to him about it. If you want to. And maybe we're taking the girls to Disney this Christmas. Maybe.

Busy weekend ahead. Someone call 911 if I haven't posted by Sunday.

Ciao -
rach

Overheard this morning, post discovery of poison oak rash on Jordin's ankle:

(mommy calmy finishes explaining to Jordin that if we scratch the itch, poison oak will then spread to the next place we touch on our body... our eyes, our nose... where ever. So don't scratch, ok? We'll just leave it alone for a couple of days, and it will be gone... )

SB: I mean, Jordin, let's not get all carried away about this. So you got poison oak. You don't have to brag about it.

That's right. My children are now currently getting jealous of the other having an itchy rash. Oy.

Tuesday Hustle
(except today I didn't!!)

Today was a good *Rachael* day. My multiple personalities were out and about everywhere. Did you see any of me?

*Paper Girl* was busy at the Atlanta Merchandise Market. She had to be there early to meet with a vendor so she could pick out greeting cards and stationery and all sorts of miscellany (love that word) for the *Paper Shop.* Since the vendor was late to the meeting, she made tracks to the ribbon showroom, where she picked out pretty ribbons and charms for custom invitations to me made in the *Paper Shop.*

I decided to go with her... to the Market. And I consented and let *Creative Me* come along too. We're quite the trio. I was excited because it's Cash and Carry days at the Market - which means you can buy samples from most of the showrooms without worrying about making the minimun orders.... this gives a lot of women a syndrome that is unexplainable. They start to catfight over things like Vera Bradley bags and decorative pillows. They roll around these little bags with them, and fill them up with wholesale insanity. Every small town (and large one too) around the south is represented by it's finest bitchy catty types Merchandise Bargain Shoppers. My cute California friend (she ain't from here, so she's allowed to say so) and I call these women, "The Bag Ladies." They all wear capri pants. And have big silver jewelry. And big hair.

Ok. So back to the story.

*Creative Me* then insisted that *Paper Girl* and herself should visit the Mark Roberts Showroom. Secretly *I* (that's you know - me, Rachael) had tricked *Creative Me* into thinking that we could find great window dressings up there... lots of glitz and glam and pretty stuff. *Creative Me* agreed... we grabbed the ever-business-like *Paper Girl* and went alllll the way up to the 17th floor to see the Mark Roberts stuff.... wow. Do you know Mark Roberts? He makes these amazing Fairies - which are beautiful and would be perfect for the windows of the *Paper Shop.* These windows are a constant challenge for *Creative Me,* and a complete pain-in-the-ass for Paper Girl. Little did *Creative Me* know that there were many, many samples for sale ... yahoo!!! I indulged and bought a Christmas Fairy. And a new Gnome Santa. Cuteness. And all for $25.00. That's my kind of wholesale shopping. Seriously.

Ok - so - *Paper Girl* gets to meet with her vendor. I sit back and watch as she spends $1400.00 without blinking an eye... "Don't look at me like that," she says. *Creative Me* was drooling while this amount of money was being spent. I had to ask her to close her mouth at least twice. I mean, it's just not ladylike, you know? Then, *Creative Me* went down to the cute napkin/paper goods showroom... where we jumped right in the middle of the ladies fighting over 2.00 beverage napkins and paper plates. And we bought some. Some cute ones that Janet would love with little chocolate desserts all over them - and some with wire whisks on them for the new (old) kitchen. Bargain.

And then I found two lamps. TWO. Two lamps that *Creative Me* says will match my dining room perfectly. They're silver with red shades - shades have little reddish black roses on them. I would call them Tall Lamps. *Creative Me* says they're called *Buffet Lamps.* Sure. Whateevr. Sometimes that girl is a pain in the ass.

Ok. And then I got tired of trying to manage everyone - so I duct taped the two of them and I went to lunch with my cute California friend at the Ok Cafe. We had Sweet Potato Chips with Blue Cheese and BLT's. And don't forget the sweet tea. Then she shared some of her home made banana nut cake with me. Yum.

Wholesale Happines. My favorite brand.

Ciao -
Rachael

Another friend who showed up today. :-)  

A closer view of my new friend.  

My new Mark Roberts Fairy. Putting him up for the Christmas decorations in the new (old) house.  

Today was a Good Day.

Girls and I finished some crafty projects for Mothers Day. Messy projects. Ones that require mommy cussing silently. Concrete. Under the fingernails. Enough said.

R.

It's like having three children.  

Jordin the Ham. The Camera Hog. The Future Super Uber Model. The One and Only. 

my favorite from today... again, more laying in the semi-damp grass... ick. 

The Gals.... gathering all kinds of bugs and the like.  

Weekend Recap
a little early, but you get the idea


It appears the Runaway Bride is safe at home. All is well in the world. I however, remain a jaded, bitchy, bitter ex wife. Maybe I am just old. Maybe it has something to do with working with brides and their mommies. Maybe it's just a stupid story about a spoiled rotten brat with too much money who got a little stressed out about her gala - fourteen - attendant wedding. Just maybe.

Oh... that's right... this is where I talk about the weekend. Sorry.

Saw my (former) sister-in-law on Friday night when leaving work. Not sure if she was not expecting to see me or ... hmm.... I suddenly felt very divorced. Realize I miss my sister-in-law's a lot. Oh well... traffic always seems to take your mind off these things. And there was much of that. Much.

Friday night included a trip to the ever popular $3.49 Pizza Buffet... where the girls always eat like I haven't fed them in days - and we see three million people we know and haven't seen in ages. This makes the $3.49 Pizza Buffet a sort of watering hole... the Mecca to which mommies and daddies and kids travel to socialize. Sad. Anyway - saw some of my "real" teacher friends... saw some of my "old" high school classmates... asked SB NOT to chew with her mouth gaping open at least four hundred times. Asked Jordin to stop dancing in the middle of the buffet line at least two thousand times. Despite the stereotype that might come with a $3.49 Pizza Buffet - the food is suprisingly good and we all get our money's worth. Aunt Becky and Family go with us.

Played Freeze Tag with the girls outside until almost 9:30. Note: this is not a good idea post $3.49 Pizza Buffet. The girls thought it was a great idea, however. I don't usually run unless chased. Ever. Made an exception on Friday. My girls love to play by the rules. They are anal about it. Do you know how Freeze Tag works? Someone must be "it." "It" must chase other players in an attempt to "freeze" them. You can "freeze" someone by tagging them. Once "frozen" you can only be "unfrozen" by whoever is left running from "it". This person must tag all frozen individuals and the game continues. (insert maniacal laughter here) So I got smart. I froze both girls. Then I told them goodnight. They remained "frozen" for some time.

Saturday. Rain. Thunder.
I trekked into work Saturday morning to assist a bride and her mother with wedding programs. Gag. Hack. I was rather disenchanted upon hearing the news of Runaway Bride. So, I was as pleasant as possible. I forced myself not to slap anyone or pull anyone's hair. I was very, very nice. Paper Girl wanted to be a bitch, but I wouldn't let her. Pretended to manage paper store aftewards for a while. Ordered some cool new fonts. Installed cool new design software which my friend Katey will have to help me with after hours.

Came home. Moved much heavy furniture out of new (old) house into storage. It's almost time for carpet. Yay. More rain. Baked pink cupcakes with girls. Made home made mac and cheese for Sunday lunch after church. Had a little peppermint tea, and tried to read Ana Karina -- hmmm. It's going to be a great love story - and it's written by a dark and enchanting man with some pretty sordid experiences himself. But right now it sucks. Completely.

Today - church. Lunch. Cupcakes. Knitting. I took some photos today with my Nikon. I am a little concerned that She's (the camera is a girl) dying on me. And I am not spending anymore money on repairs. I want a new toy. The girls were in "The Club," which required

1. me busting them... almost made SB pee in her pants.
2. me bathing them... NASTY. Absolutley un-ladylike. I mean, little girls don't get stuff like this under their nails.

Email. Blog. Tonight - I am out to dessert with my girlfriends from church for my birthday. :-)

Happy Sunday to ya'll.