Changes
(everything does)

So.
Blame it on my weekend without children.. the first one in a while.
Blame it on my complete lack of sleep at the current moment.
Blame it on anything you want.

This weekend, I had a revelation.
(I know, I know - I have them so often it's losing it's effect... however, what's the fun of a blog if I can't share every epiphany with my audience...?)

Let me start by telling you this.

My children have enough clothes to open a small boutique. We They have clothes we haven't even worn yet - that were bought because they were oh-so-adorable or because they were 2.99 at Old Navy. We They have clothes that they will NEVER wear... ever. The girls have shoes to last well into the summer - and flip flops from last year they never wore. For Jordin, it's almost worse, as she has boxes of clothes that I put away when Sarah Beth outgrew them; most of them she only wore once. I am in no way trying to be boastful or bragging or whatever. It's really, really just ridiculous.
(I don't think I have a matching pair of socks much less more than three pairs of shoes)
I realize this every time I walk into the girls room.... you can't decide WHAT they are going to wear, as there is too much. 9 out of 10 outfits are matching - the girls have this trademark matching thing going - as if I am the first mom in the history of motherhood to come up with that. They don't leave the house without perfect hair, matching socks, and their shirts tucked in... (no thanks to former spouse, Jordin is actually a tiny bit nuts about tucking in her shirt.. for Sarah Beth - it's all about the belt... you wear the same one no matter WHAT...)

They are the most health conscious kids I know. I am not kidding. Sarah Beth and Jordin LOVE to drink water - carry a bottle around with them - hate soda, love fresh fruit and vegetables, and really don't eat a lot of processed nasty food. They skate, they rollerblade, they bike, they play soccer, Jordin dances, Sarah Beth is learning to skateboard.... they know exercise... and love it. Grammy and Mimi have the two of them so doped up on vitamins that they are literally never sick.... ever. They can tell you about protein and vitamin C and sugar and Splenda and how bad Diet Coke is killing mommy. (ok, well, maybe they're a little overboard)

And so, I have finally realized I spend A LOT of time and effort taking care of them. Of course I do... that's what mommies do. However, I am spending no time and effort on me... and it's becoming distressing. Very. I really do look tired... and - turning twenty seven... the last thing I want to do is look... oh my... OLD. And how do I look old at twenty six? Oh, let me count yon ways... I don't get enough sleep (what mommy does), don't EVER go shopping for myself (hello, what is style, exactly?)... and have forgotten the meaning of the word, e-x-e-r-c-i-s-e...(Rach, you are NOT sixteen anymore...) what?
So... while you know I will always be Supermom... and continue to have the cutest kids on this blog.. I have to make some changes. I have to. My life is killing me. A plan? I am always devising plans... here's the latest - in TO DO list form....

Things to do for ME

• get hair CUT (this mane of mine is way, way too long and blah... I mean, if I have a headful of reddish hair... why keep it pulled back in a bun or ponytail all the time... it's pointless and takes a lloooooonnngggg time to dry... )
• get out of the house stop turning down friends on the weekends and get the hell out of here... (happy, Kell? You made THE LIST girl)
• give up Diet Coke as the girls and Grammy tell me, it is, after all, making me lose my short term memory and grow a huge brain tumor all at the same time... which can't be good for hair and nail growth
• drink more water water? What's that?
• go to doctor I can't even tell you the last time I was there.....
• take vitamins
• exercise every day
• go to bed at decent hour
• spend more time on things I love to do that have nothing to do with kids
• finish painting at the house and MOVE IN
• get over relationship with Jim - be more like ex wife and less like best friend
• buy myself at least something to add to wardrobe once a month
• get better at golf (I suck currently... Sarah Beth has better game than me)
• actually finish school and quit bitching about it

Ok. This is ONLY the beginning... I'll keep you updated... the revelation has now officially begun.... and I am off for EIGHT hours of sleep.

Rach