Southern Girls Guide to New York
( or, how to be relatively cool and not obnoxiously southern while visiting the Big Apple)

Things I learned.

1. When you get in a taxi, know where it is you want to go. There shall be no waffling. Other people who actually LIVE here are waiting.
2. When you hail a cab, be sure to be politcally correct. Do not jump into another person's hailed cab. This is very, very rude and not well received.
3. The REAL New Yorkers will take your cab. Let them.
4. For God sakes, BUCKLE UP in the cab. You WILL see your entire life flash before your eyes NUMEROUS times. The seat belt prolongs your biography.
5. Cabs smell funny. Real funny.
6. The cab drivers are almost always wearing funny shoes with bells. Check them OUT, people.
7. Traffic is a thing. Get over it.
8. Look out your window when heading to the city. It's people watching heaven.
9. Stay in Midtown. There are few tourists here. You don't want to be a "tourist."
10. If you WANT to be a tourist, stay on Broadway. Please buy a "Wicked" show poster for me, since I forgot it.
11. The REAL New Yorkers are the ones who just shove past you and keep going. Don't be offended. Move.
12. Broadway is cool.
13. Very cool.
14. Even more so at night.
15. You are crazy if you don't go out at night.
16. Don't even think about bed before midnight. Things are just getting started then.
17. Don't say "Ya'll," to anyone. Unless you want them to make fun of you. In that case, go ahead.
18. Don't try to order Sweet Tea. Don't.
19. Leave your Vera Bradley bag and Lili Pulitzer capris at home, girls. I mean it.
20. Ride the subway.
21. It smells funny too.
22. It's also cheaper than taxi's everywhere.
23. Take a carriage ride through Central Park.
24. With someone you love, adore, etc.
25. There are plenty of things to do BESIDES the 9-11 Memorial and the Statue of Liberty.
26. When you pass the Statue, it's okay to be breathless.
27. She's a cool lady.
28. Who could use a bra.
29. French women probably don't need bras.
30. Have some pizza.
31. The real kind you buy on the corner of 57th, from the "Open Late" pizza place.
32. You fold your pizza in half to eat it.
33. Visit the Magnolia Bakery in the village.
34. Buy a cupcake.
35. Sit in the park across the street and feel like a real New Yorker. One who lives in the village.
36. Go to "Lips," a small infamous bar with drag queens as your hosts. FUN stuff. They sing. And dance.
37. Be sure to visit the little book store across the street from the bakery. You feel just like a Friends episode.
38. Have a REAL bagel. A real one.
39. You should buy this from a street vendor.
40. And be sure to get a Black and White cookie. (hello, heaven)
41. Always put the address of your hotel in your pocket. It's easy to get lost.
42. When visiting Canal Street - buy a fake bag. Get over yourself.
43. Comfy shoes. Comfy. It's true that NY's where sneakers everywhere - and only change to the cute stuff when they arrive.
44. Take your camera. Don't be a complete loser like me.
45. Remember, honey .... there are rednecks everywhere. They're universal, I think.

XOX-

Rachael